Sometimes it’s good not to know exactly what you have gotten yourself into, because sometimes that thing will change you, and change you “for good,” and being changed in a permanent sort of way can be either good or not.
In my life, the project I am working on for the 2010 North Carolina State Fair is just the most recent, tangible example. The colorful squares and the myriad scraps of yarn that have been trimmed after the ends are woven in, as well as the ever expanding afghan, are all visible reminders of what I am working toward, but had I known how much it would entail when I first began, I might not have started it in the first place. For better or worse, I will not be the same person when this project is finished, and I will in some way have been changed for good.
This morning, after I had eaten breakfast and had my first cup of coffee, I made use of the dry weather and sunshine to work on row 27 out on the deck of my house that overlooks the backyard.
It was a far cry from the dog days of August when I moved my crochet from one spot to another, following the shade in an effort to avoid heat stroke. This morning, I situated myself in the largest patch of sunshine I could find hoping to keep my hands warm enough to continue working outside where there is substantially more light and substantially less cat hair.
While August brought heat and little black ants who like their coffee exactly the same way I like mine (cream only, but a good amount of it), now there is a chill and leaves have begun to fall, and some of the squirrels that live in the yard, having seen me now on an almost daily basis since early August, have become bolder, venturing up the steps of the deck while I work to see if I’ve got anything for them to eat.
I worked on the project for an hour-and-a-half, laying out the 27th row joining the 31 squares that comprise it, but soon then, it was time to prepare to get my son to his pre-concert choir rehearsal.
My youngest son is in a performing boychoir, an entity I was entirely unfamiliar with when he first tried out. Like my state fair projects, it was a good thing I didn’t know what I was getting into as I might well have made a different decision had I known.
I had heard of the Vienna Boys Choir but had managed to remain singularly ignorant of the traditions of boychoirs. As it happens, boychoirs require things like regular haircuts, ties, robes with sashes, and lots of practices to prepare for performances. As you might guess, it is very helpful to have a parent who can drive to the many practices, and while I do get help on occasion, most often I am that parent.
Today’s concert was particularly special for my son as he had been selected to sing a solo in an arrangement of the song “For Good” from the musical Wicked. I am an expert of sorts when it comes to worrying, so I was concerned that perhaps he hadn’t practiced enough, or he might trip as he made his way over to the microphone. I wanted him to succeed, but I worried about all the ways things could go wrong.
To my great delight, it turned out that he was well prepared and delivered a performance that moved his mother (and a couple of others) to tears, and while I don’t have video I can share publicly, I can leave you with this, and perhaps it will help you in those moments when you find you have been changed in some irrevocable way, “for good”: